Barakah Roots

Essays on faith, motherhood, memory, and belonging.

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A warm watercolor illustration of a family practicing appreciation and gentle guidance at home. In the foreground, a Muslim mother embraces her smiling son as he completes his schoolwork, celebrating his effort with quiet affection. In the background, a father offers calm instruction to another child while a young girl listens nearby. Golden afternoon sunlight fills the cozy room, where books, plants, a lantern, and cups of tea create a peaceful atmosphere. The scene reflects encouragement, mercy, family connection, and the balance between recognizing effort and offering loving correction.

The Missing Ten Percent

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A soft, warm watercolor illustration in a gentle children's book aesthetic showing a Muslim mother in a long cream-colored gown and a dusty rose hijab. She stands in side profile, looking thoughtfully into a large full-length mirror in a bedroom filled with amber afternoon sunlight. Her hand rests gently on her waist as she contemplates her reflection. In the background, elements of a full, busy life are visible: a neatly folded stack of laundry on a chair, a children's book titled "The Little Muslimah" on a nightstand, and a framed Quranic reminder hanging on the wall that reads "And rely upon Allah; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs (33:3)." Subtle, magical light effects and star dust trail softly across the foreground.

I See Myself in Her

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A warm watercolor illustration depicting a mother building systems to reduce daily friction. Prepared fruit, organized groceries, reusable containers, and helping children reflect the unseen accommodations many women create to navigate chronic fatigue, brain fog, and limited cognitive bandwidth.

The Neurodivergent Tax

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Muslim woman in a hijab sitting by the sea at sunset in a colorful watercolor illustration, reflecting on midlife, caregiving, and renewal.

The Inner Thoughts of a Perimenopausal Woman

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A vibrant watercolor illustration of a festive all-women's Muslim pool gathering. In the foreground, a large buffet table is filled with samosas, fresh fruit, popcorn, and drinks. Women wearing beautiful, colorful hijabs chat inside a decorated living room, while one mother looks out a large window to watch children happily swimming in a backyard pool with a pink flamingo float.

When Everyone Speaks the Language of Invisible Work

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  • Hayaa is not a wall that keeps love out. It is the dignity that keeps the 'Me' intact. It is the sensor that tells me when I am safe. I am learning that I can be a sanctuary with a door—and it is okay to tell the world when that door needs to be closed.
    Islam,  Reflections,  Spiritual Perspectives

    Hayaa in a Loud World

    April 14, 2026 / No Comments

    Hayaa is often translated as modesty.Bashfulness.But for me, lately I realize thatit has never been just about what I wear. It is a feeling.A boundary.A quiet awareness.A secret cave. I’ll be honest,be truly honest.I don’t show much.I don’t always know how. There is a bashfulness that sits heavy on my tongue,making me shy to reveal my needs,shy to say what’s in my heart,shy to let the world see that I am tired. I used to wonder:Am I being too difficult?Is my silence a barrier to love?Am I expecting them to read my mind? I stayed quiet to avoid being a nag.I stayed quiet to keep the peace.But I am learning…

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    When “The Best” Feels Out of Reach

    April 9, 2026
    A dramatic five-panel collage illustrating a first Umrah journey. The top panels show the Masjid al-Haram at night, a lonely desert highway at sunset, and the back of a woman in a black abaya. The bottom panels feature a car dashboard with a glowing 'Fuel Low' warning light and a pair of open hands raised in prayer before the Kaaba in Makkah. The imagery captures the transition from the vulnerability of a desert road trip to the spiritual sanctuary of the Haram.

    The Road to Makkah, My First Umrah and the Hijab in the Mataf

    April 12, 2026
    A cinematic, warm-toned photograph of a woman from behind, wearing a heavy, cream-colored prayer dress (isra). Her hands are raised in the opening Takbir of prayer, facing toward a soft, hazy light streaming through a window. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a domestic interior with the golden glow of a Sharjah afternoon. The image is framed with elegant gold filigree corners, emphasizing the sacredness of the quiet, private moment.

    Finding Stillness on the Rug

    April 15, 2026

About Me

Umm Abdallah

I’m an Indonesian mother of ten, now making a home in the Middle East. Most of my days are spent navigating the beautiful, heavy, and often messy reality of a large family and a body that requires me to move a little slower.

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