Barakah Roots

Life of a Big Family Mom

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  • Hayaa is not a wall that keeps love out. It is the dignity that keeps the 'Me' intact. It is the sensor that tells me when I am safe. I am learning that I can be a sanctuary with a door—and it is okay to tell the world when that door needs to be closed.
    Islam,  Reflections,  Spiritual Perspectives

    Hayaa in a Loud World

    April 14, 2026 / No Comments

    Hayaa is often translated as modesty.Bashfulness.But for me, lately I realize thatit has never been just about what I wear. It is a feeling.A boundary.A quiet awareness.A secret cave. I’ll be honest,be truly honest.I don’t show much.I don’t always know how. There is a bashfulness that sits heavy on my tongue,making me shy to reveal my needs,shy to say what’s in my heart,shy to let the world see that I am tired. I used to wonder:Am I being too difficult?Is my silence a barrier to love?Am I expecting them to read my mind? I stayed quiet to avoid being a nag.I stayed quiet to keep the peace.But I am learning…

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About Me

Umm Abdallah

I’m an Indonesian mother of ten, now making a home in the Middle East. Most of my days are spent navigating the beautiful, heavy, and often messy reality of a large family and a body that requires me to move a little slower.

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Categories

  • Birth (1)
  • Books (1)
  • Children (3)
  • Covid 19 (3)
  • Doula (2)
  • Hadith (1)
  • Islam (7)
  • Marriage (3)
  • Motherhood Unfiltered (7)
  • Movie (1)
  • Nostalgia (2)
  • Pop Cultures (4)
  • Quran (1)
  • Reflections (17)
  • Saudi Arabia (5)
  • Sisterhood (1)
  • Spiritual Perspectives (6)
  • The Big Family Life (2)
  • United Arab Emirates (5)
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