Barakah Roots

Life of a Big Family Mom

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  • An open notebook rests on a rustic wooden table, its blank lined pages waiting to be filled. On top of the notebook lies a silver smartphone, its screen displaying a digital composite image: a miniature 3D model of the Kaaba, surrounded by a dense crowd of pilgrims gathered in the courtyard of the Masjid al-Haram. A black stylus pen rests in the crease of the open journal. In the foreground, the silver edge and black keys of a laptop keyboard are softly blurred, completing a quiet workspace setting that merges analog reflection with digital connection.
    Islam,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Eid Al-Adha 2026 Allah Chose for Me

    May 30, 2026 / No Comments

    The Unexpected First Day of Eid There is an Eid we imagine. The one where everyone wakes up healthy. The children are dressed beautifully. The prayer goes smoothly. The food is ready on time. The family photo turns out perfectly. And then there is the Eid Allah chooses for us. This year, the two were not quite the same. On the morning of Eid al-Adha, the sound of takbir drifted through the humid air in Sharjah while I sat curled up on the downstairs sofa. A sudden stomach pain arrived unexpectedly when I woke up for Fajr, bringing my plans to a sudden halt. I had planned to be at…

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    mamabarakah

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    The Forty Days Postpartum Rest We Forgot

    April 11, 2026

    One Full Trolley

    April 5, 2026

    My LinkedIn Profile and the “Chief Justice of Book Disputes”

    April 5, 2026
  • Soft green-toned collage illustrating the invisible labor of motherhood in a large Muslim family: a hijabi mother holding papers while children move around the kitchen, children helping wash dishes together, and a mother folding laundry quietly. Botanical sketches and soft neutral colors create a warm, reflective atmosphere about caregiving, teamwork, mental load, and everyday family life.
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Reflections,  Spiritual Perspectives,  United Arab Emirates

    Nobody Claps for the Mother Who Remembered Everything

    May 13, 2026 / No Comments

    Nobody claps for the mother who remembered everything. Usually, they only notice the one thing she forgot. It’s the child suddenly announcing at 9 PM that they need green cardboard for school tomorrow. It’s the “Mama, did you sign this?” paper appearing exactly when everyone is already wearing shoes. But beneath those frantic moments is a vast, silent ocean of things that did happen because you remembered them: the favorite snack you bought, the way everyone’s different food preferences live permanently inside your brain, and the small emotional tensions you noticed before they ever became arguments. I don’t think most families do this maliciously. Invisible labor becomes invisible precisely because…

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    A close-up, light and airy shot of a woman’s hands holding an open Quran. Soft morning sunlight illuminates the pages and a simple notebook and pen resting nearby. The scene is faceless and serene, focusing on the texture of the paper and the quiet moment of reflection.

    Iqra, When My Mind Is Full

    April 11, 2026
    A colorful, watercolor-style collage of iconic childhood characters and figures from 1980s and 90s Indonesian television. The top half features animated characters Doraemon, Shin-chan, and Chibi Maruko-chan alongside the live-action hero Ksatria Baja Hitam (Kamen Rider Black). The bottom half shows a realistic illustration of the Japanese drama character Oshin as a young girl and woman, and a portrait of the friendly dragon Si Komo with the smiling mentor Kak Seto. The entire composition is set against a soft, pastel-colored artistic background

    My TV Memory Lane, from Oshin to Si Komo

    April 13, 2026
    Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026
  • Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.
    Islam,  Marriage,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  Spiritual Perspectives,  United Arab Emirates

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026 / No Comments

    Sometimes I stand holding an item in a store for far too long before quietly putting it back. Not necessarily because we cannot afford it. But because I am already mentally tired imagining how to explain why it matters. I think many women understand this feeling immediately. The small internal rehearsal. How to make the request sound reasonable enough. Necessary enough. Useful enough. Worth asking for. Especially when the thing is not pure survival. A notebook. A new prayer dress. Comfortable shoes. Skincare. An iced matcha. Containers you genuinely believe will finally organize your life this time. Tiny things. Tiny things that help tired women emotionally survive adulthood. And honestly,…

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    Hayaa is not a wall that keeps love out. It is the dignity that keeps the 'Me' intact. It is the sensor that tells me when I am safe. I am learning that I can be a sanctuary with a door—and it is okay to tell the world when that door needs to be closed.

    Hayaa in a Loud World

    April 14, 2026

    Tangled Hair and Me

    April 5, 2026

    The Forty Days Postpartum Rest We Forgot

    April 11, 2026
  • Warm collage capturing ordinary Muslim motherhood and faith-filled daily life: a missing white sock lying outdoors, hands on a steering wheel during a school run, soft morning sunlight in a quiet living room with plants, a woman holding Quran and prayer beads, and a calm breakfast moment with a child holding mugs. The images reflect the spirituality of ordinary Tuesdays, school-morning routines, and finding barakah in small repetitive moments.
    Faith,  Hadith,  Islam,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    Faith Is Also Built on Ordinary Tuesdays

    May 11, 2026 / No Comments

    I think when I was younger, I imagined faith would feel more cinematic than it actually does. I imagined spiritually strong people as calm and refreshed all the time. People who prayed every salah with perfect focus. People who read Quran peacefully for long stretches without interruption. People who woke up for tahajjud with glowing skin and emotional stability. I thought closeness to Allah would feel quiet and uninterrupted. But adulthood, especially motherhood, feels very different from that. On a Tuesday morning in Sharjah, faith sometimes looks like searching frantically for one specific white school sock while the clock is ticking and we should have left the house five minutes…

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    Vulnerability as a Woman’s Strength

    April 8, 2026

    The Books That Built Me

    April 10, 2026

    The Lockdown Chronicles (Part 2): Six Computers and a Car Ride

    April 7, 2026
  • A collage of laundry racks, wooden clothespins, and washing machine cycles in a large family home. High-volume sun-drying laundry system in a Sharjah villa.
    Children,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Secret Engine Room (a.k.a. The Side Garage)

    April 28, 2026 / No Comments

    If you walked past our villa in Sharjah,you’d see a house like many others. A front door.Shoes (mostly) lined up.A version of us that looks… organized. But that’s not the real story. If you want to understand this house—this operation—you have to walk to the side. To the place the architect confidently labeled:Garage. We don’t park cars there.We hang laundry.Rows of it. A forest of metal racks,flapping cotton,socks that have seen things. This is the Engine Room. The Law of the Sun Yes, we have a dryer. It exists.It works.It is… mostly decorative. Because I am married to a manwho looks at the Sharjah sunand sees: free energy,maximum efficiency,and possibly……

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    The S26 Ultra and the Fear of the Escape

    April 5, 2026
    A collage centered on a classic portrait of Jane Austen in a blue dress and bonnet, surrounded by four stylized panels of diverse women. To the left, a woman in a warm orange hat and another in a dark green hijab are framed by soft floral patterns. To the right, a woman in blue and two silhouetted figures are depicted in a vibrant, pop-art and watercolor style. The composition illustrates the bridge between 19th-century literature and modern, multicultural identity.

    Hijabi’s Path to Jane Austen’s Longbourn

    April 14, 2026

    The Lockdown Chronicles (Part 3): The Lonely Hallway and the Chorus of Cries

    April 7, 2026
  • A collage of five photos showing the beautiful chaos of motherhood: scattered blue and green building blocks on a floor with a vacuum cleaner, a toddler sitting in a mess of flour on a dark wood floor, an overflowing dresser drawer with colorful laundry, a kitchen counter cluttered with dishes and tea, and a splattered paint mess. A yellow scribble at the bottom right symbolizes the mental load.
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Nostalgia,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    An Example of My Jumbled Mind (The Forty-Tab Brain)

    April 21, 2026 / No Comments

    I talk a lot about having “forty tabs open,” but let’s be real—it isn’t just about being busy. It’s a survival mission that lives entirely inside my head. And look, I’m not trying to make myself sound like the center of the universe. I know, deep down, that life would go on even without me. The world doesn’t stop because a mom takes a break. I also don’t want to belittle the massive part my husband and kids play in keeping this family moving—they are the ones spinning the wheels every day. But even when the wheels are rotating perfectly, the mental load is just… there. It’s the invisible architecture.…

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    Watching Titanic as a Grown Muslim Woman

    Rewatching Titanic as a Grown Muslim Woman

    April 9, 2026
    “Retro-inspired collage capturing the imaginative world of 80s and 90s television nostalgia: MacGyver-style survival tools and multitools scattered on a workbench, a neon-lit futuristic car dashboard inspired by Knight Rider, a glowing sci-fi time portal reminiscent of Quantum Leap, and a Wild West cowgirl figure standing in a dusty frontier town. The collage reflects childhood imagination, imported television culture, adventure fantasies, and the cinematic inner worlds children created before the internet era.”

    MacGyver, Quantum Leap, and My Wildly Unqualified Childhood Confidence

    May 13, 2026
    A collage centered on a classic portrait of Jane Austen in a blue dress and bonnet, surrounded by four stylized panels of diverse women. To the left, a woman in a warm orange hat and another in a dark green hijab are framed by soft floral patterns. To the right, a woman in blue and two silhouetted figures are depicted in a vibrant, pop-art and watercolor style. The composition illustrates the bridge between 19th-century literature and modern, multicultural identity.

    Hijabi’s Path to Jane Austen’s Longbourn

    April 14, 2026
  • a collage of food, molokhia stew, rendang, ratattouille, and lasagna
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Nostalgia,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Trail I’m Leaving Behind

    April 21, 2026 / No Comments

    I really have to share why I started Barakah Roots—not as a “brand” or a project, but so you can understand why I am here, opening up my house and my head to you. I was born in 1981. I’m a child of that bridge generation—the ones who remember the silence of a house before the internet lived in our pockets. Now, it’s 2026. I live in Sharjah, managing a house of twelve. Ten children. A multicultural marriage where we are constantly translating our very souls across different languages and unspoken codes. Most days, I am the logistics officer for a small army. My mind is a Forty-Tab Brain. I’m…

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    The Books That Built Me

    April 10, 2026

    The S26 Ultra and the Fear of the Escape

    April 5, 2026

    The Forty Days Postpartum Rest We Forgot

    April 11, 2026
  • Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    My LinkedIn Profile and the “Chief Justice of Book Disputes”

    April 5, 2026 / 1 Comment

    Today, I opened LinkedIn. Just a casual scroll. Big mistake. One by one, the profiles of old friends started appearing. And Allahumma barik, they are doing well. Very well. “Senior Strategy Manager.” “Head of Global Operations.” “Director of Innovation.” I saw promotions, high-level achievements, and photos of keynote speeches at conferences. There were big corporate words I don’t even fully understand anymore. And then, there was me. The Identity Gap My profile hasn’t had a title update in years. There is no career ladder here—just a mountain of laundry and a messy kitchen. For a moment, I felt it: that sharp, cold sting of comparison. What if I had chosen…

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    mamabarakah

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    The Books That Built Me

    April 10, 2026

    One Full Trolley

    April 5, 2026
    Warm collage capturing ordinary Muslim motherhood and faith-filled daily life: a missing white sock lying outdoors, hands on a steering wheel during a school run, soft morning sunlight in a quiet living room with plants, a woman holding Quran and prayer beads, and a calm breakfast moment with a child holding mugs. The images reflect the spirituality of ordinary Tuesdays, school-morning routines, and finding barakah in small repetitive moments.

    Faith Is Also Built on Ordinary Tuesdays

    May 11, 2026
  • Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    The S26 Ultra and the Fear of the Escape

    April 5, 2026 / No Comments

    I am currently typing this on a phone that is warming my palm, dreaming of a luxury I’m not sure I’ve earned. I have a confession: I want the Samsung S26 Ultra. I want the crisp camera to capture the small details of my life. I want the tech that feels like a reward for the years I’ve spent on a device that is slowly showing its age. But as much as I want it, I am also afraid of it. The Contentment Conflict The truth is, my phone right now is fine. It works perfectly okay for the daily basics. I am grateful for it, and I don’t want…

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    Tangled Hair and Me

    April 5, 2026
    a collage of food, molokhia stew, rendang, ratattouille, and lasagna

    The Trail I’m Leaving Behind

    April 21, 2026
    An open notebook rests on a rustic wooden table, its blank lined pages waiting to be filled. On top of the notebook lies a silver smartphone, its screen displaying a digital composite image: a miniature 3D model of the Kaaba, surrounded by a dense crowd of pilgrims gathered in the courtyard of the Masjid al-Haram. A black stylus pen rests in the crease of the open journal. In the foreground, the silver edge and black keys of a laptop keyboard are softly blurred, completing a quiet workspace setting that merges analog reflection with digital connection.

    The Eid Al-Adha 2026 Allah Chose for Me

    May 30, 2026
  • Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    One Full Trolley

    April 5, 2026 / No Comments

    This week, I filled one full trolley. The big one. At Lulu. But it didn’t start at the supermarket. It started at home, peering into the fridge and the pantry. One lonely cucumber, half-empty milk, and the kind of leftover rice that no one really wants anymore. That was when the “thinking” began. The Mental Map Before I even reached for the car keys, I was already carrying a load. It’s the list no one else sees: By the time I was walking through the aisles, I wasn’t just shopping. I was navigating a map of my family’s needs and moods. Item by item, it didn’t feel like much. Milk.…

    Read More
    mamabarakah

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    Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026
    A bright, airy kitchen scene showing the faceless hands of a Muslim mother and her children preparing a large meal. In the foreground, a mother's hands stir a steaming stainless steel pot on a modern stovetop. Nearby, children's hands are busy chopping vegetables and reaching for fresh fruit. On the side counter, a multi-cooker and rice cooker sit among grocery bags, while a hand-designed family chore chart is visible on the wall in the background. The atmosphere is warm, sun-drenched, and captures the busy, organized rhythm of a large household

    How I Feed 12 People Every Week (The Logistics of Barakah)

    April 12, 2026
    a collage of food, molokhia stew, rendang, ratattouille, and lasagna

    The Trail I’m Leaving Behind

    April 21, 2026
12

About Me

Umm Abdallah

I’m an Indonesian mother of ten, now making a home in the Middle East. Most of my days are spent navigating the beautiful, heavy, and often messy reality of a large family and a body that requires me to move a little slower.

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Categories

  • Birth (1)
  • Books (1)
  • Children (4)
  • Covid 19 (3)
  • Doula (2)
  • Faith (2)
  • Hadith (2)
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