Barakah Roots

Essays on faith, motherhood, memory, and belonging.

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A warm watercolor illustration of a family practicing appreciation and gentle guidance at home. In the foreground, a Muslim mother embraces her smiling son as he completes his schoolwork, celebrating his effort with quiet affection. In the background, a father offers calm instruction to another child while a young girl listens nearby. Golden afternoon sunlight fills the cozy room, where books, plants, a lantern, and cups of tea create a peaceful atmosphere. The scene reflects encouragement, mercy, family connection, and the balance between recognizing effort and offering loving correction.

The Missing Ten Percent

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A soft, warm watercolor illustration in a gentle children's book aesthetic showing a Muslim mother in a long cream-colored gown and a dusty rose hijab. She stands in side profile, looking thoughtfully into a large full-length mirror in a bedroom filled with amber afternoon sunlight. Her hand rests gently on her waist as she contemplates her reflection. In the background, elements of a full, busy life are visible: a neatly folded stack of laundry on a chair, a children's book titled "The Little Muslimah" on a nightstand, and a framed Quranic reminder hanging on the wall that reads "And rely upon Allah; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs (33:3)." Subtle, magical light effects and star dust trail softly across the foreground.

I See Myself in Her

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A warm watercolor illustration depicting a mother building systems to reduce daily friction. Prepared fruit, organized groceries, reusable containers, and helping children reflect the unseen accommodations many women create to navigate chronic fatigue, brain fog, and limited cognitive bandwidth.

The Neurodivergent Tax

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Muslim woman in a hijab sitting by the sea at sunset in a colorful watercolor illustration, reflecting on midlife, caregiving, and renewal.

The Inner Thoughts of a Perimenopausal Woman

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A vibrant watercolor illustration of a festive all-women's Muslim pool gathering. In the foreground, a large buffet table is filled with samosas, fresh fruit, popcorn, and drinks. Women wearing beautiful, colorful hijabs chat inside a decorated living room, while one mother looks out a large window to watch children happily swimming in a backyard pool with a pink flamingo float.

When Everyone Speaks the Language of Invisible Work

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  • A vibrant watercolor illustration of a festive all-women's Muslim pool gathering. In the foreground, a large buffet table is filled with samosas, fresh fruit, popcorn, and drinks. Women wearing beautiful, colorful hijabs chat inside a decorated living room, while one mother looks out a large window to watch children happily swimming in a backyard pool with a pink flamingo float.
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Sisterhood,  United Arab Emirates

    When Everyone Speaks the Language of Invisible Work

    June 29, 2026 / No Comments

    Recently, I hosted an all-women’s pool gathering, and I cannot stop thinking about how beautiful it was. Not only because the children had fun, or because there was a giant spread of food, or because the pool was full of laughter. But because, for a few hours, I was surrounded by women who truly understood. Before the gathering even began, the invisible work was already in motion. I am so incredibly grateful to my husband and my older boys, who were gracious enough to completely give the house over to the women and girls for the day. They didn’t just step aside so everyone could swim comfortably and relax freely;…

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    a collage of food, molokhia stew, rendang, ratattouille, and lasagna

    The Trail I’m Leaving Behind

    April 21, 2026
    A warm, sunlit illustration of a Muslim mother in a hijab reflecting at a table with a notebook, while her five children safely play and prepare snacks in the cozy, golden-lit background of their living room.

    Evidence

    June 27, 2026
    An image of three large woven laundry baskets packed with clean, folded clothes and towels. Bright greens, blues, and whites are visible. A few items of clothing lie softly on the plush rug in the foreground. The background is a neutral, textured wall.

    Laundry, We Will Always Have Laundry

    April 15, 2026
  • An open notebook rests on a rustic wooden table, its blank lined pages waiting to be filled. On top of the notebook lies a silver smartphone, its screen displaying a digital composite image: a miniature 3D model of the Kaaba, surrounded by a dense crowd of pilgrims gathered in the courtyard of the Masjid al-Haram. A black stylus pen rests in the crease of the open journal. In the foreground, the silver edge and black keys of a laptop keyboard are softly blurred, completing a quiet workspace setting that merges analog reflection with digital connection.
    Islam,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Eid Al-Adha 2026 Allah Chose for Me

    May 30, 2026 / No Comments

    The Unexpected First Day of Eid There is an Eid we imagine. The one where everyone wakes up healthy. The children are dressed beautifully. The prayer goes smoothly. The food is ready on time. The family photo turns out perfectly. And then there is the Eid Allah chooses for us. This year, the two were not quite the same. On the morning of Eid al-Adha, the sound of takbir drifted through the humid air in Sharjah while I sat curled up on the downstairs sofa. A sudden stomach pain arrived unexpectedly when I woke up for Fajr, bringing my plans to a sudden halt. I had planned to be at…

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    Vulnerability as a Woman’s Strength

    April 8, 2026
    Warm collage capturing ordinary Muslim motherhood and faith-filled daily life: a missing white sock lying outdoors, hands on a steering wheel during a school run, soft morning sunlight in a quiet living room with plants, a woman holding Quran and prayer beads, and a calm breakfast moment with a child holding mugs. The images reflect the spirituality of ordinary Tuesdays, school-morning routines, and finding barakah in small repetitive moments.

    Faith Is Also Built on Ordinary Tuesdays

    May 11, 2026
    Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026
  • Soft green-toned collage illustrating the invisible labor of motherhood in a large Muslim family: a hijabi mother holding papers while children move around the kitchen, children helping wash dishes together, and a mother folding laundry quietly. Botanical sketches and soft neutral colors create a warm, reflective atmosphere about caregiving, teamwork, mental load, and everyday family life.
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Reflections,  Spiritual Perspectives,  United Arab Emirates

    Nobody Claps for the Mother Who Remembered Everything

    May 13, 2026 / No Comments

    Nobody claps for the mother who remembered everything. Usually, they only notice the one thing she forgot. It’s the child suddenly announcing at 9 PM that they need green cardboard for school tomorrow. It’s the “Mama, did you sign this?” paper appearing exactly when everyone is already wearing shoes. But beneath those frantic moments is a vast, silent ocean of things that did happen because you remembered them: the favorite snack you bought, the way everyone’s different food preferences live permanently inside your brain, and the small emotional tensions you noticed before they ever became arguments. I don’t think most families do this maliciously. Invisible labor becomes invisible precisely because…

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    Watercolor illustration of a mother standing beside packed bags, folded clothes, and an unfinished breakfast table in a sunlit home, reflecting on invisible care, preparation, and a family outing that never happened.

    The Zoo Trip That Never Happened

    June 28, 2026
    A warm watercolor illustration of a family practicing appreciation and gentle guidance at home. In the foreground, a Muslim mother embraces her smiling son as he completes his schoolwork, celebrating his effort with quiet affection. In the background, a father offers calm instruction to another child while a young girl listens nearby. Golden afternoon sunlight fills the cozy room, where books, plants, a lantern, and cups of tea create a peaceful atmosphere. The scene reflects encouragement, mercy, family connection, and the balance between recognizing effort and offering loving correction.

    The Missing Ten Percent

    July 15, 2026
    A collage of five photos showing the beautiful chaos of motherhood: scattered blue and green building blocks on a floor with a vacuum cleaner, a toddler sitting in a mess of flour on a dark wood floor, an overflowing dresser drawer with colorful laundry, a kitchen counter cluttered with dishes and tea, and a splattered paint mess. A yellow scribble at the bottom right symbolizes the mental load.

    An Example of My Jumbled Mind (The Forty-Tab Brain)

    April 21, 2026
  • Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.
    Islam,  Marriage,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  Spiritual Perspectives,  United Arab Emirates

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026 / No Comments

    Sometimes I stand holding an item in a store for far too long before quietly putting it back. Not necessarily because we cannot afford it. But because I am already mentally tired imagining how to explain why it matters. I think many women understand this feeling immediately. The small internal rehearsal. How to make the request sound reasonable enough. Necessary enough. Useful enough. Worth asking for. Especially when the thing is not pure survival. A notebook. A new prayer dress. Comfortable shoes. Skincare. An iced matcha. Containers you genuinely believe will finally organize your life this time. Tiny things. Tiny things that help tired women emotionally survive adulthood. And honestly,…

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    A close-up, light and airy shot of a woman’s hands holding an open Quran. Soft morning sunlight illuminates the pages and a simple notebook and pen resting nearby. The scene is faceless and serene, focusing on the texture of the paper and the quiet moment of reflection.

    Iqra, When My Mind Is Full

    April 11, 2026
    A dramatic five-panel collage illustrating a first Umrah journey. The top panels show the Masjid al-Haram at night, a lonely desert highway at sunset, and the back of a woman in a black abaya. The bottom panels feature a car dashboard with a glowing 'Fuel Low' warning light and a pair of open hands raised in prayer before the Kaaba in Makkah. The imagery captures the transition from the vulnerability of a desert road trip to the spiritual sanctuary of the Haram.

    The Road to Makkah, My First Umrah and the Hijab in the Mataf

    April 12, 2026
    A cinematic, warm-toned photograph of a woman from behind, wearing a heavy, cream-colored prayer dress (isra). Her hands are raised in the opening Takbir of prayer, facing toward a soft, hazy light streaming through a window. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a domestic interior with the golden glow of a Sharjah afternoon. The image is framed with elegant gold filigree corners, emphasizing the sacredness of the quiet, private moment.

    Finding Stillness on the Rug

    April 15, 2026
  • Warm collage capturing ordinary Muslim motherhood and faith-filled daily life: a missing white sock lying outdoors, hands on a steering wheel during a school run, soft morning sunlight in a quiet living room with plants, a woman holding Quran and prayer beads, and a calm breakfast moment with a child holding mugs. The images reflect the spirituality of ordinary Tuesdays, school-morning routines, and finding barakah in small repetitive moments.
    Faith,  Hadith,  Islam,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    Faith Is Also Built on Ordinary Tuesdays

    May 11, 2026 / No Comments

    I think when I was younger, I imagined faith would feel more cinematic than it actually does. I imagined spiritually strong people as calm and refreshed all the time. People who prayed every salah with perfect focus. People who read Quran peacefully for long stretches without interruption. People who woke up for tahajjud with glowing skin and emotional stability. I thought closeness to Allah would feel quiet and uninterrupted. But adulthood, especially motherhood, feels very different from that. On a Tuesday morning in Sharjah, faith sometimes looks like searching frantically for one specific white school sock while the clock is ticking and we should have left the house five minutes…

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    A vintage mixed-media collage centered around an antique world map, layered with torn papers, watercolor washes, old photographs of misty mountains and golden desert dunes, a brass compass, an old sailing ship, weathered keys and keyholes, gears, feathers, driftwood, pressed leaves, lace, and handwritten notes. The composition evokes themes of travel, memory, faith, belonging, and finding spiritual direction while journeying through a changing world.

    Finding Home in a Changing World

    July 13, 2026
    A warm, sunlit illustration of a Muslim mother and young daughter sitting together on a prayer rug beside an open Qur'an, looking out through a large window toward a busy city street. Golden afternoon light streams into the room, illuminating bookshelves and creating a peaceful atmosphere that symbolizes faith, reflection, and raising children with guidance rooted in the Qur'an rather than the changing values of the surrounding world.

    When Ordinary Stopped Looking Ordinary

    July 19, 2026
    A warm watercolor collage depicting a Muslim woman through seasons of faith and gratitude. She is shown making du'a at night, reflecting by a sunlit window with the Qur'an nearby, organizing a well-stocked pantry, reading the Qur'an during a quiet afternoon, embracing her children, sharing a peaceful family meal, and sitting in contemplation during the rain. Additional vignettes feature a glowing lantern, a cup of tea, and a tranquil garden path at sunrise. Soft earth tones, gentle light, and cozy home interiors evoke themes of answered prayers, everyday blessings, remembrance of Allah, and finding beauty in ordinary moments.

    After Allah Answers the Du’a

    July 12, 2026
  • A collage of laundry racks, wooden clothespins, and washing machine cycles in a large family home. High-volume sun-drying laundry system in a Sharjah villa.
    Children,  Motherhood Unfiltered,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Secret Engine Room (a.k.a. The Side Garage)

    April 28, 2026 / No Comments

    If you walked past our villa in Sharjah,you’d see a house like many others. A front door.Shoes (mostly) lined up.A version of us that looks… organized. But that’s not the real story. If you want to understand this house—this operation—you have to walk to the side. To the place the architect confidently labeled:Garage. We don’t park cars there.We hang laundry.Rows of it. A forest of metal racks,flapping cotton,socks that have seen things. This is the Engine Room. The Law of the Sun Yes, we have a dryer. It exists.It works.It is… mostly decorative. Because I am married to a manwho looks at the Sharjah sunand sees: free energy,maximum efficiency,and possibly……

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    Watercolor illustration of a mother standing beside packed bags, folded clothes, and an unfinished breakfast table in a sunlit home, reflecting on invisible care, preparation, and a family outing that never happened.

    The Zoo Trip That Never Happened

    June 28, 2026
    An image of three large woven laundry baskets packed with clean, folded clothes and towels. Bright greens, blues, and whites are visible. A few items of clothing lie softly on the plush rug in the foreground. The background is a neutral, textured wall.

    Laundry, We Will Always Have Laundry

    April 15, 2026
    A bright, airy kitchen scene showing the faceless hands of a Muslim mother and her children preparing a large meal. In the foreground, a mother's hands stir a steaming stainless steel pot on a modern stovetop. Nearby, children's hands are busy chopping vegetables and reaching for fresh fruit. On the side counter, a multi-cooker and rice cooker sit among grocery bags, while a hand-designed family chore chart is visible on the wall in the background. The atmosphere is warm, sun-drenched, and captures the busy, organized rhythm of a large household

    How I Feed 12 People Every Week (The Logistics of Barakah)

    April 12, 2026
  • A collage of five photos showing the beautiful chaos of motherhood: scattered blue and green building blocks on a floor with a vacuum cleaner, a toddler sitting in a mess of flour on a dark wood floor, an overflowing dresser drawer with colorful laundry, a kitchen counter cluttered with dishes and tea, and a splattered paint mess. A yellow scribble at the bottom right symbolizes the mental load.
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Nostalgia,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    An Example of My Jumbled Mind (The Forty-Tab Brain)

    April 21, 2026 / No Comments

    I talk a lot about having “forty tabs open,” but let’s be real—it isn’t just about being busy. It’s a survival mission that lives entirely inside my head. And look, I’m not trying to make myself sound like the center of the universe. I know, deep down, that life would go on even without me. The world doesn’t stop because a mom takes a break. I also don’t want to belittle the massive part my husband and kids play in keeping this family moving—they are the ones spinning the wheels every day. But even when the wheels are rotating perfectly, the mental load is just… there. It’s the invisible architecture.…

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    A warm watercolor illustration depicting a mother building systems to reduce daily friction. Prepared fruit, organized groceries, reusable containers, and helping children reflect the unseen accommodations many women create to navigate chronic fatigue, brain fog, and limited cognitive bandwidth.

    The Neurodivergent Tax

    June 30, 2026
    Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026
    A colorful, watercolor-style collage of iconic childhood characters and figures from 1980s and 90s Indonesian television. The top half features animated characters Doraemon, Shin-chan, and Chibi Maruko-chan alongside the live-action hero Ksatria Baja Hitam (Kamen Rider Black). The bottom half shows a realistic illustration of the Japanese drama character Oshin as a young girl and woman, and a portrait of the friendly dragon Si Komo with the smiling mentor Kak Seto. The entire composition is set against a soft, pastel-colored artistic background

    My TV Memory Lane, from Oshin to Si Komo

    April 13, 2026
  • a collage of food, molokhia stew, rendang, ratattouille, and lasagna
    Motherhood Unfiltered,  Nostalgia,  Reflections,  The Big Family Life,  United Arab Emirates

    The Trail I’m Leaving Behind

    April 21, 2026 / No Comments

    I really have to share why I started Barakah Roots—not as a “brand” or a project, but so you can understand why I am here, opening up my house and my head to you. I was born in 1981. I’m a child of that bridge generation—the ones who remember the silence of a house before the internet lived in our pockets. Now, it’s 2026. I live in Sharjah, managing a house of twelve. Ten children. A multicultural marriage where we are constantly translating our very souls across different languages and unspoken codes. Most days, I am the logistics officer for a small army. My mind is a Forty-Tab Brain. I’m…

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    Warm collage capturing ordinary Muslim motherhood and faith-filled daily life: a missing white sock lying outdoors, hands on a steering wheel during a school run, soft morning sunlight in a quiet living room with plants, a woman holding Quran and prayer beads, and a calm breakfast moment with a child holding mugs. The images reflect the spirituality of ordinary Tuesdays, school-morning routines, and finding barakah in small repetitive moments.

    Faith Is Also Built on Ordinary Tuesdays

    May 11, 2026
    A soft, warm watercolor illustration in a gentle children's book aesthetic showing a Muslim mother in a long cream-colored gown and a dusty rose hijab. She stands in side profile, looking thoughtfully into a large full-length mirror in a bedroom filled with amber afternoon sunlight. Her hand rests gently on her waist as she contemplates her reflection. In the background, elements of a full, busy life are visible: a neatly folded stack of laundry on a chair, a children's book titled "The Little Muslimah" on a nightstand, and a framed Quranic reminder hanging on the wall that reads "And rely upon Allah; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs (33:3)." Subtle, magical light effects and star dust trail softly across the foreground.

    I See Myself in Her

    July 1, 2026
    Warm collage illustrating the emotional atmosphere of womanhood, home, and financial vulnerability: a Muslim woman browsing rugs and fabric in a store, children resting on a worn family sofa, coffee and budgeting notes beside a calculator, a cozy lived-in couch with a laptop and tea, and a beautiful dream living room with new sofas and a large rug. The collage reflects the longing for softness, beauty, dignity, and emotional ease inside ordinary family life.

    The Quiet Vulnerability of Financial Dependence

    May 12, 2026
  • Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    My LinkedIn Profile and the “Chief Justice of Book Disputes”

    April 5, 2026 / 1 Comment

    Today, I opened LinkedIn. Just a casual scroll. Big mistake. One by one, the profiles of old friends started appearing. And Allahumma barik, they are doing well. Very well. “Senior Strategy Manager.” “Head of Global Operations.” “Director of Innovation.” I saw promotions, high-level achievements, and photos of keynote speeches at conferences. There were big corporate words I don’t even fully understand anymore. And then, there was me. The Identity Gap My profile hasn’t had a title update in years. There is no career ladder here—just a mountain of laundry and a messy kitchen. For a moment, I felt it: that sharp, cold sting of comparison. What if I had chosen…

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    A bright yellow banana with small brown spots lies on a dark textured carpet next to a vintage dark-brown wooden door frame. The door is slightly open, revealing a glimpse of a shadowed hallway beyond. A dramatic shaft of light illuminates the fruit on the floor

    The 10:00 AM Ramadan Heist

    April 13, 2026

    The Books That Built Me

    April 10, 2026
    A warm, sunlit illustration of a Muslim mother in a hijab reflecting at a table with a notebook, while her five children safely play and prepare snacks in the cozy, golden-lit background of their living room.

    Evidence

    June 27, 2026
  • Reflections,  United Arab Emirates

    The S26 Ultra and the Fear of the Escape

    April 5, 2026 / No Comments

    I am currently typing this on a phone that is warming my palm, dreaming of a luxury I’m not sure I’ve earned. I have a confession: I want the Samsung S26 Ultra. I want the crisp camera to capture the small details of my life. I want the tech that feels like a reward for the years I’ve spent on a device that is slowly showing its age. But as much as I want it, I am also afraid of it. The Contentment Conflict The truth is, my phone right now is fine. It works perfectly okay for the daily basics. I am grateful for it, and I don’t want…

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    A warm, sunlit illustration of a Muslim mother in a hijab reflecting at a table with a notebook, while her five children safely play and prepare snacks in the cozy, golden-lit background of their living room.

    Evidence

    June 27, 2026
    A bright yellow banana with small brown spots lies on a dark textured carpet next to a vintage dark-brown wooden door frame. The door is slightly open, revealing a glimpse of a shadowed hallway beyond. A dramatic shaft of light illuminates the fruit on the floor

    The 10:00 AM Ramadan Heist

    April 13, 2026
    A soft, warm watercolor illustration in a gentle children's book aesthetic showing a Muslim mother in a long cream-colored gown and a dusty rose hijab. She stands in side profile, looking thoughtfully into a large full-length mirror in a bedroom filled with amber afternoon sunlight. Her hand rests gently on her waist as she contemplates her reflection. In the background, elements of a full, busy life are visible: a neatly folded stack of laundry on a chair, a children's book titled "The Little Muslimah" on a nightstand, and a framed Quranic reminder hanging on the wall that reads "And rely upon Allah; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs (33:3)." Subtle, magical light effects and star dust trail softly across the foreground.

    I See Myself in Her

    July 1, 2026
12

About Me

Umm Abdallah

I’m an Indonesian mother of ten, now making a home in the Middle East. Most of my days are spent navigating the beautiful, heavy, and often messy reality of a large family and a body that requires me to move a little slower.

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